Recently I read an article in The Times that got me thinking. It was an account of life with an older man, written by a girl married to a rock star 20 years her senior. It was written from a positive perspective of the ups and the downs, but mainly of the ups...
This is something I am very passionate about, and a topic that melts in with Sugar dating quite well. I really do not understand the taboo towards age-gap relationships. Just because you are 20-something, 30-something, 40 something - does this automatically mean you should end up with someone within this little age bubble?
Personally, I have always been attracted to men older than myself. I am quite disenchanted with men my own age. To me, an age gap is natural, not daunting. I like the different perspectives and experiences that an age gap offers, and in the past its happened without me seeking it out.
Then comes the way you get treated by an older man. By no means are only older men gentleman, but most seem to come from the old school of manners, they are more comfortable and confident with old fashioned chivalry. Whilst they might not be any more cultured than younger men, they have life experience to draw from. Their longer time on the planet means these pearls of wisdom can be passed onto you.
Its a novelty to be treated like a lady. Some like it, some don't...... I do.
I like to relax and have a man take care of the small things, being taken out and feeling spoilt. Being made to feel like paying for the occasional dinner is the most generous act imaginable. Being made to feel like that little gift you bought him was the most innovative and inspiring gift he could ever imagine.
Old Fashioned Chivalry makes you feel special. I appreciate and notice good manors. A man standing up when you get back to the dinner table, walking on the road side of the pavement, opening the car door, treating you with respect - all incredibly romantic gestures in the least flashy way possible.
This brings me to thinking. After reading a few blogs recently, both here on blogger and over at world press, it seems to me some girls are very uncomfortable with the idea of dating an older man. It seems to me they have been sucked in by the 'gifts and money' and would not been seen dead with the guy in question otherwise. This is not a good idea, you are selling yourself for a gift that will hold no value later in life, and will probably live to regret it. You are wasting time you could spend meeting people you actually like. You are selling yourself short, no matter the $ you receive. It wont be enough.
What I'm trying to say is you either want to meet an older man, or you don't. I have and will always date men older than myself, whether that's a few years or 20 years, it makes no odds to me. Wether or not money was involved, that makes no odds to me either. The last man I fell in love with was 35, and I would have been happy to marry him. He wasn't a 'sugar daddy', just a successful older man who I genuinely loved.
So I have put this together with looking for a Sugar Daddy, and its the best of both worlds all mixed together for me. Its the older man, the maturity and life experience that I crave, mixed with Success, passion, and power. That makes for a very happy Bow, and there is nothing wrong with that. I know what I want, and I am selecting it.
Love, Baby Bow xxx
Wow, that post was so inspiring!
ReplyDeleteThey do tend to be more chivalrous, I've found and that's the appeal of them for me too. Dating one, though, seems a little daunting for me. I know that age shouldn't ever be an issue, but I'm always afraid that we won't connect on communication.
At the same time though, I do like guys my age.
"You are wasting time you could spend meeting people you actually like."
ReplyDeleteI disagree there, babe Bow. I like dating older men under 40 but my pots have tended to be older than that. And I don't consider them wastes of time because I'm not always pursuing love with these men, I'm pursuing sugar that the type of men I'm actually attracted to wouldn't provide. In my natural relationships I very much appreciate being treated like a lady but I don't think monthly allowance should be a normal part of that unless you are married and a homemaker and even then I'd call it my salary :)
I remember an older post of yours on this and I think your perspective on ageism is an interesting one.
Maybe I should clarify what I meant, as im not sure I made much sense! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat I was referring to is how you can read some girls thoughts on meeting Pots and realise they dont even like them. They might say things that imply they are physically repulsed by them, do not like them as a person, etc and its obvious its all for the $.
This is what I think could cause regret later in life, and this is the wasted time I was referring to. This time spent with Mr repulsive for $ could be spent with Mr much better + $. I suppose I was trying to say you shouldnt have to settle. :)
xx
What a great post! By the way, I think I read that article too. I can't help but agree with you on all of the points you made. I love the idea of an age difference in a traditional relationship. In fact, I can't see myself dating anyone under 30 ever again. Of course, it's a little different in the sugar world. I'm willing to explore a SD relationship with a much older man (25-40 year difference) who's company I enjoy and respect greatly but whom I wouldn't date in real life. By date, I mean a serious relationship, but that is only out of practicality. When I choose to marry and have a family, I want to spend as much time with the person I love as I can, and that time can be shortened by his age. Kind of went off on a tangent there.
ReplyDelete"No matter the $ you receive. It wont be enough." I love this quote. This is the gods honest truth. I've dated some SDs strictly for money, meaning I didn't enjoy their company, was feeling down before meeting them again, etc. The money they give you is never enough. You kind of watch it pile up, and are almost afraid to use it because then there will be nothing to show for all of that "hard work" lol. Yeahhhh, been there.
What a great post! By the way, I think I read that article too. I can't help but agree with you on all of the points you made. I love the idea of an age difference in a traditional relationship. In fact, I can't see myself dating anyone under 30 ever again. Of course, it's a little different in the sugar world. I'm willing to explore a SD relationship with a much older man (25-40 year difference) who's company I enjoy and respect greatly but whom I wouldn't date in real life. By date, I mean a serious relationship, but that is only out of practicality. When I choose to marry and have a family, I want to spend as much time with the person I love as I can, and that time can be shortened by his age. Kind of went off on a tangent there.
ReplyDelete"No matter the $ you receive. It wont be enough." I love this quote. This is the gods honest truth. I've dated some SDs strictly for money, meaning I didn't enjoy their company, was feeling down before meeting them again, etc. The money they give you is never enough. You kind of watch it pile up, and are almost afraid to use it because then there will be nothing to show for all of that "hard work" lol.